My Training in Internal Family Systems Therapy

I recently completed my first training in Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy through Stepping Stones IFSCA. When I first started working as a therapist, I had no idea what my preferred modality would be, mostly because I had no experience in using them apart from a very awkwardly filmed fake therapy session for school, using information from a lecture slide combined with some YouTube videos.  I was lucky enough to have a supervisor who was knowledgeable and supportive enough to help me move as gracefully as possible through feelings of imposter syndrome by sharing that there are so many factors that are important in building a therapeutic relationship (content for another post). Spoiler alert: the most important thing isn’t the modality you use.

However, after having completed a training program for DBT, I still felt as though I didn’t have a solid enough framework for understanding how our minds work. Once I learned the basics of IFS, i) that we are made up of parts and that those parts are separate from our authentic selves, and ii) that these parts have jobs, functions, motivations, and important perspectives that need to be given space, I had a deep sense that this was the beginning of my IFS understanding.

Taking a U-turn and Using IFS on Myself

Now I’ve only completed one course, so I am by no means an IFS expert, but it resonated with me so well that I can now use my creativity to move through the model with myself and with my clients. The framework of IFS didn’t just help me with my work with clients, it also helped me to develop awareness of my own parts that may come up in sessions. Specifically, I am now able to identify what my parts want for me, what they’re doing for me, and how to be more present with my clients than I have ever been.

Being aware of my protective parts and being in Self energy more frequently also helps me to avoid burnout. I like to think of Self energy as what happens when I’m my most grounded Self. I feel confident and can access deep compassion; I’m more creative; and I feel calmer than when protective parts are running the show.  Burnout happens when we are heavily blended with protective parts because they work so hard for us and they can become quite tired of doing what they do. When I’m in Self, the care and compassion I can access is much more sustainable and authentic, and it doesn’t get exhausted like my protective parts do.

That’s not to say I don’t get physically or mentally tired, because I absolutely do. I still need breaks at times, but being with clients in a state of Self energy helps me access infinite care that clients can sense.

How To Become an Internal Family Systems Therapist

So how do you do this? First, I’d recommend finding an experiential training and going to it. The IFS Institute is the gold standard, but it can be challenging to get in with their lottery system and a large expense if you’re not quite sure if the model is for you. Stepping Stones IFSCA can be more financially accessible and doesn’t have a lottery system. Blueprint Counselling has also been known to host IFS Trainings - keep an eye on our Instagram: @counsellingblueprint!  

I’d also recommend watching some of Derek Scott’s videos from IFSCA on YouTube and pre-ordering his book: “DEAD (Spoiler Alert): A Psychotherapist’s Journey with Cancer”, where he shares his experience with his impending death and how he used parts work to get himself through, while remaining present and compassionate with himself and others. Side note, I have some humorous parts that thoroughly love the title of this book.

Second, I would encourage you to take some time to create a list of protective parts you know you have and see if you can start to develop a relationship with them. For example, you might be aware of a part of you that gets angry when someone questions you, or a part of you that tends to set your own needs aside for other people’s comfort. You can begin your journey towards Self energy by noticing and being aware when these parts pop up. It doesn’t have to be a deep dive or an internal therapy session, it can be as simple as “Oh hi people pleaser part, you’re still there”. 

You can also take some time to write about or otherwise reflect on the idea that all of our parts are there for a reason and that they all have something important to say. Consider approaching parts like you would a young child. Often we approach parts of ourselves with aggression, argument, or bargaining, which doesn’t do much to help the part feel safe enough to be in a relationship with us. To start, see what it’s like to consider that parts aren’t the core of who you are, they are just parts of you. 

If you’re feeling really excited about IFS and parts work, consider finding a therapist who uses IFS so you can receive some guidance working with your own parts. At Blueprint, we have a team of excellent IFS-Informed therapists if you’d like to explore working with us. We all have parts, and getting to know these parts of yourself can feel so healing and compassionate, as well as allowing you to be more present and energized by your work.