Spoon Theory and Neurodivergence: Managing ADHD and Energy Limits to Focus on What Matters

There’s an old (ish, depending how old you are) song that says “I’d start a revolution if I could get up in the morning.”

And so many of the neurodivergent folks in the room said “Amen!”

Or maybe it was just me. 🙂

Okay, so maybe all of us ADHDers, autists and other neurodivergent folks aren’t looking to start a coup, but I do know that so many of us have those “things”--the things we’d do if our executive function were just a little better, if we were just a tad less stimulated, if there were just a bit less spice in our neuro-spicy.  Maybe we’d hang out with friends more if it meant there weren’t so many people talking at once.  Maybe we’d finally finish that Lego we’d been working on if we could stop looking at our watches and seeing it was somehow 8pm.  Maybe we’d get a lot more work done if the hum of the office lights wasn’t just so darn loud.  And sometimes it can feel like we’re always just mitigating the damage; trying to make things workable in the moment, and that takes so much thought and effort that there’s little left for things we actually enjoy.

It can look to outsiders like we’ve done so little in the way of productivity, when actually we spent all day keeping a lid on our frazzled nervous systems.  It’s an exhausting cycle.

How can we get out?

What is Spoon Theory?

I don’t have a magic wand to solve this issue.  But I do have strategies that can help.  One of my favorites is incorporating the idea of spoon theory into your planning.  The concept of “spoons” has its origins in disability theory and uses spoons (yes, the things you eat with) to quantify units of energy (note:  I know not all neurodivergent folks identify as having disabilities, and that’s perfectly okay!  We’re just applying concepts here). Spoon theory says that people with chronic conditions often have less energy (fewer “spoons”) to begin with than those without, and that mundane tasks usually take people with chronic conditions more energy (“spoons”).  So people with chronic conditions are constantly making choices that those without chronic conditions never have to make:  should I spend time with my friends or clean my house?  I don’t have spoons for both.  If I use today’s spoons for socializing, I might be extra tired tomorrow and have fewer spoons.  But if I don’t see my friends, I don’t know when they’ll ask me again.  Should I just go?

Applying Spoon Theory to Neurodivergence

The concept of spoons–and the idea that people with chronic illness have fewer and use more–can seem relatable to neurodivergence.  That feeling of constantly making choices that make today or even tomorrow feel easier or harder, that feeling of never having enough, being enough, doing enough.  It can also feel defeating, but it doesn’t have to!  Once we know that we have to be judicious with spoons, we can make smart choices based on our reality and priorities.

Strategies to Preserve Energy and Maximize Productivity

Maybe you know you want to see your friends, but it really saps your energy and you find yourself anxious before and in bed for a long time after.  If you can identify what’s stealing your spoons - the lights and sounds in the restaurant?  People all talking at once?  The anxiety of not knowing one person there well? - you can start making accommodations that might help take less spoons.  Perhaps you and your friends meet at someone’s home rather than a restaurant.   Maybe you text your friends the day before to get some info about the person you don’t know as well, so that you have some conversation points for dinner.  Thinking about your experiences in terms of the spoons they take can help you develop practical strategies to use less energy while doing the things you want to do.

Spoon theory is also a great way to help prioritize activities.  Let’s say you have ADHD and you know the following things:

  1.  I need to study for an exam

  2. I study best with a “body double” or someone with me

  3. I find having anyone else in my space mentally fatiguing

You might find yourself in a conundrum–you need someone with you, but having someone there will take some spoons.  At that point, sacrificing the spoons may be inevitable, but you can plan around low spoon days!  Maybe you have to miss soccer practice or skip one weekly workout.  That’s okay, it happens!  But you can feel successful in that moment, knowing that 1) you planned this absence, and 2) you did it so that you could prioritize something more urgent.  No more trying to fit in everything, crashing and not showing up to practice, no more doomscrolling until the gym closes and then forcing yourself to workout to exhaustion the next week.  Just you, knocking out as many things as you can without burnout.

Conclusion: Using Spoon Theory to Plan Around Energy Limits

So there you have it – spoon theory as a way of quantifying how much energy tasks take you and prioritizing the tasks you do.  It seems simple, but many people find it a helpful way to honour their own limitations, set boundaries and still be productive. Compared to the way many of us neurodivergent folks live, that could be a needed and radical change!

Maybe there is room for a tiny revolution after all!


References:

  1. Allen, A. (2003).  Revolution [Song].  I’d start a revolution if I could get up in the morning.  Elektra.

  2. Pugle, M. (n.d.). What is spoon theory?. What Is Spoon Theory?: Eric K. Fanaee, MD: Board Certified in Pain Medicine and Anesthesiology. https://www.drfanaee.com/blog/what-is-spoon-theory

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